Christmas Morning

Ta ta helping bryn with her baby that santa got her.
Her princess fishing game. (that the kids already broke) Oh joy

Unwrapping her doll house. She loves it!!! I just have to finish buying all the parts.

Her books she got. We read one every night.

Bryn's pillow pet horse that papa got her that she loves!!! Now we can't go anywhere without it.

And last of all. Her one present she asked for from Santa Clause. And he came through.... A CHICKEN!!!

Family Christmas Party.

I don't know what to think about this look.... She kinda looks retarded I'm not gonna lie.
Now this is my spawn right here. A NATURAL!!!

This here is my adorable nephew Zack. He's grown so so fast!!!

Bryn got Princess colors for the kid exchange. She loves her princesses!!!
Here is front toothless Maggie. She is getting so big!!!

Here is adorable Emy. She is still as tiny as ever and still cute as ever!

Bryn riding the pony go round :)

Like her pants? HA HA :)

Maggie, Emy and Bryn doing the danceI love my family so much. I am so lucky to have them in my life. Merry Christmas Gonzales/Hansen family!!!

Bryns 3rd Birthday

So we went to see tangled and then went to dinner at chilis. Bryn has so many amazing people who love her. Here are most of the people who came.

Karisa, Erica, Elayne, Adrian, Jakey, Ashley, Bryn and me.
Lantz, Jimyl, Todd, Bekah and Hydee

Mom and her husband Chris and Bryners...

My dad and sister. She is in from SC for a few weeks I'm SO EXCITED

Bridger, Mike, mom and chris

Me and miss Erica

Elayne and Ashley

Adrian and Jakey, my love bubs. (they are the cutest couple ever!)

And of course the birthday girl and the mommy

My friend Kellie and her husband Kris came too, unfortunatly my camara died before I could get a picture. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful family and such awesome friends. Thank you everyone for helping me make bryns birthday a success!

Layton Lights

The Octopus and Brynlee.

Bryn wanted me to make sure to take a picture of the Choo Choo Train.

And the bear catching the fish...

Oh and we can't forget santa and his reindeer.

Me and the most specialists of girls

Bryn the peacock

Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet...

Ahh another of me and bryn

And an even better one. We are both looking and smiling.

Thanksgiving

I don't know why we are decorating gingerbread houses on thanksgiving... but we are. And aren't they cute?

Me and my girl. (she has a tutu/leo on that Auntie Shell gave her, she insisted on wearing it.)

Beka and Bryn

Mischevious

Brynlee Decided to take the shoe laces off my running shoes. When I caught her she hid them and said, go away mommy.
I don't know about this....

Update

So Chris said he would give me some pictures of bryn in her costume cause he got her for Halloween so I'll post some later... Hopefully. I have to admit it. I am exhausted. I broke down crying today, I just don't know how I'm going to find the energy to keep doing it, but lately I've been reminding myself that people do it all the time. I know my life isn't easy, but it isn't hard either. There are people out there that have it worst. But some how I feel to exhausted and worn out and depressed to think about them. I need a little boost. So here it is.
1. My grades are B's. So that is good.
2 .My daughter loves to wake up when I get home from school and tell me how her day was and what she did. Yes she really can carry on a conversation. :)
3. I have amazing girl friends who always know how to make me laugh, smile, or give me confidence.
4. I have a wonderful sister, even though she is far away (half way across the united states) she still knows what to say to help me know I'm doing the right things. (and help proof read my essays)! You know who you are James.
5. I also have a job that pays enough to pay the bills. That alone is more than some people. With my Job I have amazing working buddies who always make me laugh. Whether its telling stories behind the Caddy Shack movie to saying they are leaving a 5 at the wendy's window and driving away because instead of giving them their change they give them another meal. They always make me laugh.
So This is just what i have to remember the next time I want to sit down and cry. That I don't have an elaborate life, but a good life that I control. I have a little girl in my life that depends on me for alot of things (like bug juices) so I gotta make sure I can keep these blessings working for me so I don't loose it.
Till next time.... Keep those chins up!!!! :)

Life as I know it

So I have realized that has officially been 1 year since Chris and I have separated. A year is so long to go without someone in your life and yet at the same time after 5 years of being with some one in your life, you don't want anyone else in your life at all, but you need that significant other in your life alot of times. I need to show Bryn that having a functional relationship is possible. I know that it is. But with my history of Borderline Personality Disorder, its just in my nature to ruin things, or break things off to get away from the stress, even if I love what I have more than anything. But in the past year I have grown so much. I am starting break out of the shell that I built up so many years ago and am willing to open up to people... not be so shy. Thanks to my new friends, I feel like I can do anything. They make me realize that there really is nothing to be afraid of. I'm more likely to die jumping out of a plane than opening up and saying "Hi I'm Britney." I think that soon I'll be ready to date, but for now my life is WAY to busy.

I am doing well in school for now, my first text I got an 85%, lets hope I can do better the next test. I know if I study alot, I can do it. But its hard when you work full time and by the time you get home all you want to do is come lay down and cuddle your girl. She fulfills my life and helps me push myself. I am ever grateful for that little girl, she is so impossible not to love. She has the sweetest spirit and the best attitude. I don't know how I'd make it through everything if she wasn't here.

The zoo

Here is a picture of the baby elephant....

So here my pops, my girl and me are at the zoo for my work, work party. We got to go for a private showing of the zoo where we also got unlimited carousel and train rides! It was a lot of fun. All bryn wanted to do was ride the carousel and the train and when I tried to get her face painted she said "Mom I'm too little" I said well ok then.

My poppy, my Bryner and MuahI'm trying to decided if I look retarteded in this picture...

I love bryns cheesy smile

On the carousel!

Even with my stitches I'm happy

Tajiah and Brynlee. They are so cute and love each other so much!

Bryn's stitches. She did so good! I am so proud of her