Life as I know it

So I have realized that has officially been 1 year since Chris and I have separated. A year is so long to go without someone in your life and yet at the same time after 5 years of being with some one in your life, you don't want anyone else in your life at all, but you need that significant other in your life alot of times. I need to show Bryn that having a functional relationship is possible. I know that it is. But with my history of Borderline Personality Disorder, its just in my nature to ruin things, or break things off to get away from the stress, even if I love what I have more than anything. But in the past year I have grown so much. I am starting break out of the shell that I built up so many years ago and am willing to open up to people... not be so shy. Thanks to my new friends, I feel like I can do anything. They make me realize that there really is nothing to be afraid of. I'm more likely to die jumping out of a plane than opening up and saying "Hi I'm Britney." I think that soon I'll be ready to date, but for now my life is WAY to busy.

I am doing well in school for now, my first text I got an 85%, lets hope I can do better the next test. I know if I study alot, I can do it. But its hard when you work full time and by the time you get home all you want to do is come lay down and cuddle your girl. She fulfills my life and helps me push myself. I am ever grateful for that little girl, she is so impossible not to love. She has the sweetest spirit and the best attitude. I don't know how I'd make it through everything if she wasn't here.