So my 24th birthday is coming up and I realized, I am a single mother to a 2 and 1/2 year old who throws terrible tantrums, I have a some what good job that pays ok. And I asked myself today, where is my life going? I have no one but me and bryn and my good friends. I haven't had any schooling. I started to cry last night and realized, I may be alone the rest of my life just skimping by trying my hardest to provide my me and my daughter. Every morning I get myself out of bed for her. Everyday I go to a job that I hate for her. Every night I provide dinner for her. Every time I have to drop her off at the babysitters I have to say to myself, it'll get better, I'm doing this for you babe. I wish so badly sometimes that I could have my old life back, my family. But we all make mistakes, but it'll always get better, it has too.
For now, adios
New Year's Eve Dance Party!
6 years ago
Oh, Brit. Life is hard. What am I saying...you already now that. BUT, life is also really great. I know that we have not had the same experiences and you are going through some really tough ones right now. Sometimes the Lord blesses us with things that just seem to suck. They are an opportunity to grow and become stronger or to change the course of our river. I was just thinking yesterday that I have had some rough things in my life but I am so greatful because Jeremy and I would not be on the path we are now without them. Also in the same breath I feel luck because I have not been given anything I can't handle. Maybe something more heart wrenching is on the way or maybe my attitude has grown up. I don't know.
ReplyDeleteI do KNOW without a doubt that Brynlee loves you...you are super woman, an angel, her guardian, a protector and her best friend. She can not make it with out you. If you were to be taken away from her, a part in her would die also. I know that I love you, your family loves you, your friends love you, but most of all your Heavenly Father loves you. He knows you can get through this. It is up to you if you want to do it alone and in the dark. Personally, I think things are easier with my Savior and in the light. Let him Carry You! I know I am preaching, but I feel so strongly that this is a chance for you to change your course and make something for yourself. Go back to school, Move in with family, pray about something that you have never done before. And do it! If you don't like were you are and you feel like you are in the same rut...change and do something completely unlike you. Take a step of faith. Pray about it first...see where the Lord takes you. He can see the bigger picture. You can only see to the next corner.
Trust Me. I am your big sister and I wouldn't say anything that wasn't true! I am rooting for you!
p.s...trust and have faith in yourself, too. You are an amazingly strong person. You have to be or else you wouldn't be going through this. Study Nephi.
Thanks Jamie, I miss you so much, I wish you were here! I love you!
ReplyDeleteYou always have family :)
ReplyDeleteand people who love you! Bryn loves you and watches your example everyday. So many times we have to pick ourselves up and just do it. do what we need to do to make the people we love happy. I'm giving you advice that i need to do myself! Have a good day, we miss you! :)